“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first." - Unknown
Mine led me to Xela, Guatemala <3
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Quote: Love
“We must know that we have been created for greater things, not just to be a number in the world, not just to go for diplomas and degrees, this work and that work. We have been created in order to love and to be loved.” ― Mother Teresa
Monday, January 2, 2012
Lessons Learned: City Year
After leaving City Year in October, I did what every good alum does: I reflected and became even more grateful for my time there. I will forever love the organization, everything it accomplishes and everything it will accomplish in the future. I learned to think without limits, that positivity is not naivety, to seek and accept support, to celebrate successes of all sizes and so much more.
City Year taught me to dream.
I used to think that dreaming was for people who lived in the suburbs. Because growing up, those were the only people I knew who dreamt. My only “dream” was to break free, do more. The idea of having a tangible dream, a vision, a plan, seemed like a sure way to fail; or to be laughed at.
I came to my service year well aware of how important it was for kids to have hope, to dream, but hypocritically, I had been settling for my reality up until the day I applied.
Through the support of my program manager and other teammates and mentors, I realized that higher education was a dream that I could make a reality—and succeed at.
City Year taught me to think without limits.
My team had the opportunity to completely develop the afterschool program for our kids. One day, as we were struggling to come up with ideas, our program manager came to help. He ran an activity called a “Blue Sky Brainstorm.” The idea: if we did not have to worry about a budget, if we had no time restrictions or any other restrictions, what would we do? Later that year, he led the same activity when I was trying to figure out what I would do with my ‘life after City Year’.
Learning to think without limits was not easy. I had to drop my inhibitions, loose the security blanket of excuses I was living behind, and let my heart roam around the possibilities of my future.
City Year taught me to accept love.
I will never forget what one of my leaders told me the summer between my service years. I had fallen very sick and spent a day in a hospital, after telling one of my leaders that I would be fine at the hospital alone, she said to me, “Accept love and life will be easier. Jeni, I’m not going anywhere. Let me give you the same love you give others.” Until that point I hadn’t realized the wall I put up, but from then on I tried a little harder to accept support and love from others.
After two service years and two years on staff, I started my ‘life after City Year’. But the secret is- there is no ‘after’ City Year. City Year is a part of me, and for that I am forever grateful.
”Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.” Henry David Thoreau
Lessoned Learned: Blogging takes commitment
Wow. In my 3 month hiatus from this blog, my daily life has changed. Call it a post-traumatic reaction, if you’d like. But I prefer to call it an enlightening awakening.
I will be posting about the lessons I’ve learned these last three months.
Stay tuned.
<3 xoxo, Jeni
I will be posting about the lessons I’ve learned these last three months.
Stay tuned.
<3 xoxo, Jeni
Monday, August 29, 2011
Quote: Strength
“You are Braver than you Believe, Smarter than you Seem, and Stronger than you Think.”
Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Quote: Happiness
Happiness is not so much in having or sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. By : Norman MacEwan
Saturday, August 20, 2011
How to be a Good Friend to Someone who has Cancer
First, a disclaimer, I do not even pretend to be able to understand what it’s like to have life threatening cancer. I refuse to insult those who do by likening my experience to theirs. I am fortunate to fight this battle without the possibility of losing. There is endless hope, although sometimes hard to see, at the end of my fight. I have been diagnosed with a treatable form of thyroid cancer, and for the “treatable” I am grateful.
When I set out to write this, I was writing a “10 things no one told me about cancer” post. And while I think some of those notes are valid, I wasn’t happy with that structure—it was a bit too “woe is me” for my liking. So you’ll find that list scattered throughout this list.
When this struggle began, I wasn’t expecting to receive or need so much support from my friends. I recognize how naïve that might sound, but the fact is, I was assuming the struggle came from the mental challenges more than the physical, and I wasn’t anticipating having a challenging mental struggle. I learned it was a combination of both.
This list is a tribute to the amazing and consistent support I have received from a couple specific friends and a catch all for everything any of my friends have done for me these last 2 months.
How to be a good friend to someone who has cancer:
1) Ask questions, but don’t pry
If you are a close friend, and you friend is open, ask questions. Try to learn more and understand more about the disease and the specific challenges your friend is facing. It can be isolating going through this and trying to process and understand and keep track of all the information coming at you. It’s easy to feel like no one you are close to understands.
If you are not a close friend- be careful not to pry. It can be exhausting recanting all the details—and a lot of it is very personal.
2) Hugs- high quality and high quantity.
Okay, maybe you don’t have to hug them all the time. But you should definitely find out how they best receive love (Physical touch, affirmative language, acts of service, quality time, or gifts) and show them appropriate levels of love. If you’ve ever read about the 5 Languages of Love by Dr. Gary Chapman or taken the test you’ll understand a bit more of where I’m coming from. But I’ll just say that I’ve gotten through many a rough days by the grace of hugs and kind words.
3) Be aware of the fears
There are many fears that come along with having Cancer- beyond life and death. Some that plague me:
Feeling Alone- silly when I’m talking about all the great friends I have. But I’m mostly afraid of being alone when I get home from the surgery or later that weekend, when I’m feeling better, but not good enough to go out. I’m a people person and I gain energy from being around people I love.
The Bills- I am blessed with amazing health insurance, but unfortunately these types of things cost money. Even the most affordable co-pays and prescription costs add up after a few months of treatments, then pre-operations appointments and post-operation medications and follow-ups. I’m afraid of not being in control of my financial situation, and bummed about cutting my social spending to cover my health. In the large scale, I know that I am blessed to be able to afford this, but if my car breaks down or another large expense comes my way, I may not be so lucky.
The Aftermath- I went to the doctor not expecting cancer was the root of my health problems. So I am afraid that this might not fix the problems I was having, there’s only a 75 percent chance that it will. I’m so afraid that after beating cancer I’m going to have to continue pursuing treatment for my thyroid, for weight problems and for depression.
Time- I’m afraid of what I’m missing out on by having to slow down at this pivotal time in my life. This is the time for hard work, risk taking and adventures. I’m worried that it will be difficult to get my groove back.
4) Be patient
Have you ever had a headache for a couple days or a sore joint? By the third day do you notice that you’re a little cranky, impatient, more tired than usual? Imagine that as your reality for a few months. I am unbelievably grateful for my friends that have put up with my mood swings, irrational emotions and general crankiness.
For a normally energetic and generally positive person, this type of constant mental and physical exhaustion is frustrating, confusing and limiting.
5) Be understanding without claiming to understand.
6) Be Aware
While it’s unlikely that you will be thinking about the disease or its effects often, it is on the forefront of your friend’s mind often. Just keep that in mind.
If there is anything I can say to conclude my thoughts on the ability to overcome these struggles it is that there is no anti-nausea medicine or therapy better than the support and love of a few good friends.
When I set out to write this, I was writing a “10 things no one told me about cancer” post. And while I think some of those notes are valid, I wasn’t happy with that structure—it was a bit too “woe is me” for my liking. So you’ll find that list scattered throughout this list.
When this struggle began, I wasn’t expecting to receive or need so much support from my friends. I recognize how naïve that might sound, but the fact is, I was assuming the struggle came from the mental challenges more than the physical, and I wasn’t anticipating having a challenging mental struggle. I learned it was a combination of both.
This list is a tribute to the amazing and consistent support I have received from a couple specific friends and a catch all for everything any of my friends have done for me these last 2 months.
How to be a good friend to someone who has cancer:
1) Ask questions, but don’t pry
If you are a close friend, and you friend is open, ask questions. Try to learn more and understand more about the disease and the specific challenges your friend is facing. It can be isolating going through this and trying to process and understand and keep track of all the information coming at you. It’s easy to feel like no one you are close to understands.
If you are not a close friend- be careful not to pry. It can be exhausting recanting all the details—and a lot of it is very personal.
2) Hugs- high quality and high quantity.
Okay, maybe you don’t have to hug them all the time. But you should definitely find out how they best receive love (Physical touch, affirmative language, acts of service, quality time, or gifts) and show them appropriate levels of love. If you’ve ever read about the 5 Languages of Love by Dr. Gary Chapman or taken the test you’ll understand a bit more of where I’m coming from. But I’ll just say that I’ve gotten through many a rough days by the grace of hugs and kind words.
3) Be aware of the fears
There are many fears that come along with having Cancer- beyond life and death. Some that plague me:
Feeling Alone- silly when I’m talking about all the great friends I have. But I’m mostly afraid of being alone when I get home from the surgery or later that weekend, when I’m feeling better, but not good enough to go out. I’m a people person and I gain energy from being around people I love.
The Bills- I am blessed with amazing health insurance, but unfortunately these types of things cost money. Even the most affordable co-pays and prescription costs add up after a few months of treatments, then pre-operations appointments and post-operation medications and follow-ups. I’m afraid of not being in control of my financial situation, and bummed about cutting my social spending to cover my health. In the large scale, I know that I am blessed to be able to afford this, but if my car breaks down or another large expense comes my way, I may not be so lucky.
The Aftermath- I went to the doctor not expecting cancer was the root of my health problems. So I am afraid that this might not fix the problems I was having, there’s only a 75 percent chance that it will. I’m so afraid that after beating cancer I’m going to have to continue pursuing treatment for my thyroid, for weight problems and for depression.
Time- I’m afraid of what I’m missing out on by having to slow down at this pivotal time in my life. This is the time for hard work, risk taking and adventures. I’m worried that it will be difficult to get my groove back.
4) Be patient
Have you ever had a headache for a couple days or a sore joint? By the third day do you notice that you’re a little cranky, impatient, more tired than usual? Imagine that as your reality for a few months. I am unbelievably grateful for my friends that have put up with my mood swings, irrational emotions and general crankiness.
For a normally energetic and generally positive person, this type of constant mental and physical exhaustion is frustrating, confusing and limiting.
5) Be understanding without claiming to understand.
6) Be Aware
While it’s unlikely that you will be thinking about the disease or its effects often, it is on the forefront of your friend’s mind often. Just keep that in mind.
If there is anything I can say to conclude my thoughts on the ability to overcome these struggles it is that there is no anti-nausea medicine or therapy better than the support and love of a few good friends.
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